Why did I move to New Zealand?
I get this question a lot, so here’s my honest answer. At first I thought we’d raise him in Singapore, fluent in all the cultures of Asia. But after a few months, I realized how important it was to me that he have a real connection with nature. Feet in the river, hands in the mud, climbing trees, running in fields, at home in the forest. Great foundation for the soul. Maybe even a competitive advantage in a world where everyone else is dependent on devices. New Zealand is a nature paradise,
How to listen to Ulysses
Kolkata India, and from Kolkata to Istanbul, for at least four days each, between February and April. Rent a home-stay room on College Street in Kolkata, and in the Balat neighborhood of Istanbul. Download The Odyssey audiobook, translated by Emily Wilson, read by Claire Danes. Length: 13 hours. Ulysses by James Joyce. Length: 30 hours each. a course about Ulysses. Length: 12 hours. listen to the Odyssey, start to finish. Boi Para, and reputation as the literary capital of India. Kolkata,
the birth and reverb of friendship
Imagine you’re a ghost. You drift through the world but nobody sees you. You’re disconnected. I have few memories of childhood, maybe because it felt like nobody saw me. My life began at age 12 when I met my first best friend. We talked hours a day for years, sharing all of our thoughts — comparing experiences and emotions. If a tree falls and no one hears it, did it make a sound? When your thoughts are acknowledged and reflected back through another, it’s like reverb. It’s validatio
a relationship that ended, not failed
I was dating for the first time, after a six year long relationship. I said, “It didn’t.” I said, “It did!” it was great from beginning to end. I thought it was probably spam, but before deleting it, just in case, I replied “Who are you and why do you think I’m interesting?” After three months of emailing, we switched to real-time chat. After six months, for the first time, she sent me her photo. She was hot! I flew to Sweden and it was on. secretly married, only for immigration. She m
Have I been married?
Sofia was my first big love. We met at 21, when we were both in the circus. She opened me up, and taught me how to be honest. I was absolutely certain that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. We were in love and had been together for two years, but didn’t want to get married. We tried to get her a work visa, but it was taking too long. So we grudgingly found a marriage clerk, signed the papers, and didn’t tell anyone, not even our best friends or parents. We never intended to st
Why are my best friends Jewish?
This is a real question. I don’t know the answer and I’m curious. But I honestly didn’t realize it until one day I was thinking about the difference between shallow versus deep friendships, and made a list of my closest friends. After I looked at the short list, smiling and appreciating, I looked again. Wow. All of them are Jewish. Is it coincidence, or a cultural attraction? a musician named Alejandro Staro, and we instantly felt like old friends. Then two hours into the conversation, he s
One big choice shapes a hundred more
I was 36, and had been living in Portland for two years. I saw an amazing house for sale — really amazing — stunning design, ideal location on the edge of the city, and its backyard was the start of a huge state park. I had a visceral reaction. Then I snapped out of it. What was I thinking? That’s not the life I want! “I bought this house 50 years ago, and I’ve been here ever since!” … or … “Hey honey, what year did we move to Berlin?” “2030, after Buenos Aires. Because in 2040 we moved
Come and get me (both you and AI)
I’m going for the double meaning of “get me” that also means “understand me”. Come and get me. I want my words to improve your future decisions. A personal website is an autobiography. I wish everyone had one. The more we share, the better. This site is what’s left of me after I’m gone. Sharing yourself online is life after death. My mind’s processes and decisions — my perspective and values — are most of who I am. The more thoroughly I share my personality in writing, the more it can b
I’m in the final third of my life
According to statistics, I’m in the final third of my life. (I don’t expect to beat the odds, because I inherited a cancer-creating genetic disorder.) So maybe it’s the final quarter. It helps me let go of what I don’t want badly enough. Can I die happy without it? Yeah. So nevermind. share my life before I’m gone. (More on that subject in my next post.) how little I know now. This world belongs to the next generation, not me. I’m on my way out.
I love the contradiction of religions
Because I was raised with no religion, I used to think they were all ridiculous. understand all the worldviews, I find the subject fascinating. Another friend, way smarter than me, has no doubt we are all in a computer simulation right now, and has an airtight argument why. So a billion people know one collection of facts to be absolutely indisputably true. And another billion people know a different and completely contradictory collection of facts to be absolutely indisputably true. Both
The first time I met someone who believes in God
My parents never mentioned God or any religion. Not necessarily atheist — nothing against. The subject just never came up. My best friend, Mark Hemstreet, lived next door. We were eleven years old, playing in the snow. I hit my hand on some ice and said, “God damn it.” I said, “Wait, are you kidding or serious?” I thought he was straight-face kidding. I honestly didn’t know anyone believed in God. Because the subject had never come up, I thought God was just like Santa Claus. A sweet ide
Dismissed!
Dismissing gives me a quick little lift. There. Now I feel superior. Now I don’t have to think about it. I don’t even need first-hand experience. I’ve done this with restaurants, religions, political ideologies, and entire countries with millions of people. Pffft. Dismissed! It works best if done publicly, to signal my status. me, above that!” drag when I have to look past my initial reaction, and actually get to know something or someone. Just sit there and listen to someone that
I hated Dubai until I learned about it
Dubai was in my “Top 5 places where I NEVER want to go”. I heard it was commercialized hedonism, glorified overindulgence, pandering to millionaires and influencers — extravagance and opulence. Everything I hate. That’s why I had never gone there. two books about the culture of United Arab Emirates, and one about the history of Dubai. And WOW, it was so fascinating. OK, so two quick things I like about U.A.E. as a country: #2: #1: Sheikh Zayed, the father of the nation and its first preside
To question is to consider, not refute
Tomorrow you have plans to go to an event with a friend. You made the plans a month ago. You ask your friend, “Do you still want to go?” You say, “Wait! I never said I don’t want to! Just asking.” Maybe they grew up around people who are indirect, and use questions to communicate cancellation. But questioning is necessary for exploring ideas. publicly said that I’m enjoying building a house, questioning everything about it. What are walls for? Do we need a kitchen? What’s the purpose of a
Rats are surprisingly sweet pets
I used to live in a basement apartment, next to the trash room. Rats were often blocking my door, and I could hear them walking in the ceiling right above me as I slept. I hated them so much that I happily killed as many as I could, with no remorse. “Mice?! Don’t they bite?” So we got mice, and they were wonderful. As easy as goldfish, and much more fun. My boy would carry his mouse in his pocket as we headed out into nature to play. We built them homes, boats, and toys. A few months ago,
We don’t need to use what we make
For many years, I was a touring musician, performing live on stage every week. But I didn’t like attending concerts. I liked making music more than listening to music. I felt I must be in the wrong line of work, creating something that I don’t consume. I never reconciled this feeling. vegetarian cattle farmer elevator builder that lives in a single-story house We sweat salt water. We cry salt water. But we don’t drink salt water. I now feel reconciled that this is not a problem or a sig
Wealth = Have ÷ Want
Not a new idea, but just another visualization and reminder. feeling like you have plenty, is an equation. If you have nothing, then focus on having some. the easiest way to increase your wealth is to decrease your needs. Have 10 but only want 5? You are wealthy. very wealthy. Making money depends on other people, so it’s harder. It’s not entirely under your control. It’s an outer game. I used to look for ways to make money, but I haven’t done that in years. Now I keep looking for ways
How to sync Mac and Linux /home
the problem: My main computer is a Linux/BSD desktop, but I also use a Mac laptop for recording and travel. This created a problem keeping them in sync. /home/me? the solution: synthetic.conf We can use the fact that Mac has no /home/ to our advantage. In your terminal, type man synthetic.conf to read about it. Assuming username “me” here, (meaning: replace “me”, below, with your actual username) I type, in the terminal: sudo vi /etc/synthetic.conf home Users/me mkdir ~/me
How to make the best possible translation of a book?
You know that frustration of reading a book that should have been an article? Me too. So I try to do the opposite — to write so succinctly that you wish I would have said a little more. You complete it with your own thoughts. But then how should I approach its translation? I’m willing to spend time and money to help make the best possible translations into Chinese, Spanish, Portuguese, and French. Maybe other languages, too, based on the potential audience. My books have been the primary cre
How and why to make a /now page on your site
Background I used to wonder what my friend Benny Lewis was doing. He has a website and social media accounts, but neither gave an overview of what he’s doing now. a /now page on my website, saying what I’d tell a friend I hadn’t seen in a year. saying no to invitations and distractions. hundreds of people had a /now page on their personal website. So I made a site to showcase them all: nownownow.com — (a static site generated by PostgreSQL functions.) It currently has over 2300 people world
the best book ever written
I’ve asked my favorite musicians if, when they’re done writing a new song, they feel it’s the best song ever. All of them said yes. I don’t know why the two groups are so different. Do you? (Please post your thoughts, below, if so.) How to Live”. I’m so special. But that book is definitely something very special. Then I spent thousands of hours editing it down to 112 poetic pages. Not a single unnecessary word. I feel I’m not supposed to admit all of this. But it’s honest.
Ben Kihnel
I just got the call from the super-connected Alex Steininger that our mutual friend Ben Kihnel died in his sleep. He was only 48. John Steup.) John hired Ben the day we moved the company to Portland, Oregon. I don’t even know how we met Ben. Then all of the early employees at CD Baby were Ben’s friends, so Ben was really the start and the heart of everything for us in Portland. I hope I remember to tell people how I appreciate them when they’re alive. So sad he died so young. We last talked
It shows what you need to believe
In Harry Potter, there’s a magic mirror that reflects the viewer’s desire. What Harry sees in that mirror is very different than what Dumbledore or Ron sees, because their desires are all different. what you most need to believe right now. It shows proof to support whatever perspective would most benefit you. Upon seeing it, you instantly believe it, internalize it, and act upon it. Someone trying to create something might see proof that people will love it. Someone with a terminal illness
AI gives the news you need
UPDATE: My metaphor was too distracting, so this post has been replaced. Please click here to read the new post instead. Both have the same intention but that one says it with less distraction. Your personal AI knows you inside-out. It’s local-hosted and securely encrypted on your phone, so you’re safe to tell it your secrets. You let it see all your texts, emails, photos and videos. It asks your thoughts each day, and you tell it what’s on your mind. One day, you wake to huge headline news.
How to learn JavaScript
Since I mentioned that I learned JavaScript, people have asked me how and what I recommend. So here’s my experience and best advice for 2024. First, it’s important to learn plain JavaScript. How to begin Start with the book: “Eloquent JavaScript”. It’s free to read there on his website. It’s deep and thorough. A great start-to-finish JavaScript tutorial. Relax. Focus. Do it in order. You’ll know more than most once you get to the end. Do Free Code Camp. Someone who had 600 JavaScript l
How I backup
Some people have asked, so here is how I do my backups. It takes me about ten seconds per day and five minutes per month to maintain. email me with any ideas or questions. every-day documents (~40 GB) I have a desktop and a laptop, so I keep this ~40 GB directory cloned with rsync every day or so between them. Whenever I turn on one computer, I sync it from the other. Daily rsync to an encrypted MacOS USB stick attached to the laptop. Daily rsync to OpenBSD remote attached storage at vul
Esperanto, Toki Pona, Swahili, Indonesian
This is a lukewarm little story with a few connected bits, but it might be interesting or even helpful. Follow the links in it, for full effect. Esperanto start For decades, I’ve wanted the experience of carrying on a conversation in another language. Benny Lewis said that if you’ve never really spoken another language, then the best strategy is to start with the easiest possible language to learn, which is Esperanto. His advice is to spend just a few weeks learning and having conversations
walk and talk
Kevin Kelly invited me to walk 100 kilometers (62 miles) through northern Thailand for seven days, ending in Chiang Mai. Walking with us were ten other smart interesting people, including five other authors whose work I’ve loved for years. It’s a “Walk and Talk”. A sweet wild dog joined our pack halfway through, walking and sleeping with us for four days and 70km, until we brought him to a vet at the end, and found him a good permanent home. Dan Wang, Craig Mod, Jason Kottke, and Liz Danzico,
The past is not true
When I was 17, I was driving recklessly and crashed into an oncoming car. I found out that I broke the other driver’s spine, and she’ll never walk again. Turns out I had misunderstood. Yes she fractured a couple vertebrae but it never stopped her from walking. She said “that little accident” helped her pay more attention to her fitness, and since then has been in better health than ever. Then she apologized for causing the accident in the first place. Apologized. She said, “No, it was my fau
dashing dog, searching for purpose
People search for their passion or purpose. But “purpose” and “passion” are words we use when we’re not working. Imagine you put a GPS tracker on a dog, then you set him free to run in the countryside. He dashes. He digs. He stops to sniff. He romps with another dog. Just do whatever interests you now. Don’t seek a story of purpose to guide or label your interests. Focus on what fascinates you, even if it’s uncharacteristic. There is no purpose because there is no line connecting moments i
$575K of books sold. $575K to save lives.
I sell my books directly through my website, sivers.com, for a few important reasons. Considerate pricing. Giving all profits to charity. not a single dollar ever comes to me. (It’s a C-corp owned by a foundation, and I take no salary.) Whatever isn’t necessary for running the business (like paying for printing the next book) is given to whatever charity is saving the most lives. $475,000 to the Against Malaria Foundation which protected over 471,000 people from Malaria. See my previous p
The joy and freedom of harmlessly upsetting social norms
My band was playing a gig in Oslo, Norway, when I struck up a conversation with a woman who was staring at me. Turns out we had read many of the same books, and we were super-attracted to each other. We talked all night, but just as things got physical in my hotel room, house-keeping came knocking on the door saying we needed to check out now. Right now. Damn. She was pleasantly shocked, and said OK. But Oslo is a small city, and she had just broken up with her ex a week before. She didn’t wa
Why I let go of my U.S. citizenship
I forbid myself from anything too tempting or addicting. I keep no cookies in my home. To prevent myself from falling off the wagon, I strap myself to the mast. It was a nice idea, but as soon as times abroad got a little tough, I’d move back to my comfort zone. America felt like an addiction. There’s a legend of a military leader with a hundred men in a few ships that landed on enemy shores. But waiting on land were a thousand enemy soldiers. So as soon as his men disembarked, the leader
the Michael Browne suits
In 2020, I was about to move to New York City. I wanted to get to know all of its ethnic enclaves, like visiting the whole world in one city. But I know I have a tendency to stay at home, immersed in my work. I had been meaning to get nicer clothes anyway. I saw myself on stage and realized my appearance no longer matched my self-image. My friend Meng Weng Wong had made a great argument in favor of wearing a great suit. Now I had two reasons. Savile Row, just to have that once-in-a-lifetime e
Curve into the target
I’m pretty bad at bowling and frisbee. After this happens a couple times, I adjust. I stop aiming straight, since that’s not working. If it always curves to the left, I aim to the right. Same with thoughts. I try to think straight. But sometimes my thoughts miss. (aim to the right) - which brings it closer to the truth. It feels wrong, because I really do think it will take a month, but out loud I say “two months”. Now my estimates hit the target. Aiming your thinking away from the targ
Thinking something nice about someone? Tell them.
When you think something nice about someone, you should tell them. Even well-known people. We assume they must hear it too much. But famous people often say the thanks from the public is the best part of the job. They work really hard to spread their creations widely. They could just sit home and keep their thoughts to themselves, but instead they do the hard labor of turning their ideas into something digestable, then brave public critique in the media, all for the generous act of sharing t
50 conversations in Bangalore and Chennai
UPDATE: I moved the conversations to sive.rs/met. February 13 through 21, 2023, I went to Chennai and Bengaluru, India. My sole purpose was to meet new friends. I’m an “Overseas Citizen of India” and my son is half-Indian (Tamil). I will always have ties to India. I wanted to deepen those ties and make new connections. fifty one-hour conversations with fifty interesting people over seven days. Back-to-back meetings from 9am to 10pm every day. It was one of the most intense and fascinating (and
Explorers are bad leaders
Explorers poke through the unknown, experimenting, trying many little dead-ends. Explorers are hard to follow. It’s better to let them wander alone, then hear their tales. Leaders are easy to follow. Leaders say, “Here’s where we’re going. Here’s why this will improve your life. Here’s how we’re going to get there. Let’s go.” Leaders go in a straight line. Leaders simplify. Explorers are bad leaders.
Travelling just for the people
When I was 21, I moved to New York City. I said, “Do you want to see the Statue of Liberty? Empire State Building? Central Park? A Broadway show?” I said, “Ha ha. Very sweet, but no, seriously. What would you like to do for the next couple days?” It was one of the most touching moments in my life. Someone spent hundreds of dollars and days of their life to travel to an exciting place, not to see the place, but just to see me. … One day, after a month in India, I decided to cautious
Want anonymity? Make a persona not a mystery.
Because of my open inbox, I meet a lot of strangers. I love it. Almost everyone tells me who and where they are in the world. If they don’t, I wonder. Once people start wondering, they need to know. Mysteries are intriguing. They’re unsettling. So for real anonymity, don’t create a mystery. Create a believable persona. Then nobody will wonder. very common name like Mary Kim or Adam Johnson. AI face generator to create a completely believable face to match your new name. Download it o
I want to lose every debate.
My favorite moments in life are when someone shows me a new perspective — a way of thinking I had never considered. The Singaporean in the three-piece-suit explains why clothing is like the SMTP protocol. The Muslim explains why Islamic law is a perfect recipe for peace. a mindset — a walk-through of a thought process. I get to understand their reasoning. Thinking that people are stupid is not thinking. Understanding them is. I never want to debate, but if I had to, I would hope to lo
Conversations with Tyler Cowen
Tyler Cowen is my favorite interviewer of all-time. His interviewing style has spoiled me for all others. He creates a tasting feast for the mind. Then he does a ton of research in advance of each interview, reading all of their books and all of their previous interviews, searching for interesting topics that haven’t been explored enough. So he knows that when he asks the Portuguese economist about the food in Djibouti, or the novelist about French versus Russian ballet, that they'll have an i
Reading the Bible start to finish
I like going to the source. Like finding musicians’ influences, and getting to know that music too. Same with film, art, philosophy, and technology. So to go to the source of western culture, and do what the wise people say, last year I read the Bible, start to finish. Every sentence very thoroughly. It took months. It was frustrating, fascinating, and very enlightening. (I took a ton of book notes while reading, to help me remember everything, but I won’t be publishing them.) The Bible: Desi
Make believe
Kids scream, “Monster in the hallway!”, and hide behind the couch. They stack up cushions for protection, and plan their defense. They know it’s not true — there’s not really a monster in the hallway — but it’s exciting to feel the adrenaline of panic, then make a shelter and feel safe. One slips and wails, “Help! I’m falling! Save me! Save me!” This new scenario lets one kid feel cared for and protected, while the other kid gets to be the rescuing hero. Kids believe anything fun for a while
Daily run, part two
In my previous post, “a daily run” — (please read it first) — running was a metaphor for whatever actions you take in your life. The story is about how we choose beliefs because they’re useful, not true. Beliefs make emotions. Emotions make actions. Actions come from emotions. Emotions come from beliefs. So choose whatever belief makes you take the action you want. One belief makes you act selfish. Another belief makes you act generous. One thought makes you do something stupid. Another
Static HTML comments
If you have a static HTML website, but you want to include comments, here’s an interesting way to do it using PostgreSQL’s NOTIFY and LISTEN. write the comments as static HTML, only when comments change, instead of doing a database query to display them every time. This prevents the “hug of death” if you get a burst of traffic. PostgreSQL database table for comments When comments change, PostgreSQL trigger sends NOTIFY JavaScript on static page includes HTML create table comments ( id
Daily run, part one
Every day you go on a long run through the forest. pot of gold at the end. It helps you finish when you feel like quitting. tiger right behind you. It makes you much faster, so you keep using this approach. hot coals, to keep you on the front of your feet. You try it, and it improves your stamina and energy. works and how you feel. The variety is fun. shovel to smooth out bumps and fill in holes. You imagine future runners being thankful for whoever did this. pot of gold again, and are sur
Your explanations are not true
We all confabulate without realizing it. an explanation that you think is a fact. A researcher shows a patient a message in his right eye, saying, “Please close the window.” The patient gets up and closes the window. Then the researcher shows a question to that patient’s left eye, “Why did you close the window?” The patient says he chose to do it because he was cold. The patients don’t think they are inventing explanations. They completely believe that those are the real reasons. Consid
Shortest date, and ketchup
Here’s a story about my shortest date, and ketchup. I suggested we meet at a bar at 35th Street and 8th Avenue. Although she’s from New York, she didn’t know where that is. She said, “No.” OK, now I’m judging. Miserable voice. Doesn’t know the basic layout of the city she lives in. Two red flags. She said, in her weary voice, “I’m not going to tell you my last name. You could be a serial killer.” So a couple days later we met at the bar at 35th Street and 8th Avenue. She looked good. W
full-length videobook for “Your Music and People”
Today I’m releasing something I’ve been working on since 2019. YOUR MUSIC AND PEOPLE”. 2½ hours long, it contains the entire audiobook, animated throughout. Hand-drawn by the great Patrick Smith over the last two years. Translated (by native speakers) into Catalan, Chinese, Croatian, Danish, Dutch, French, German, Hebrew, Hindi, Hungarian, Indonesian, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Malay, Polish, Portuguese, Punjabi, Russian, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Tagalog, Tamil, Thai, Turkish, and Ukrainia
Anything You Want — third edition for 2022
In 2011, I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. “Derek. It’s Seth Godin.” “I’m starting a new publishing company, so I want you to write a book. Short, like a manifesto. Will you do it?” “Great. I look forward to it.” Over the next eleven days, I wrote the lessons I’d learned from starting, growing, and selling my company. He liked it, named it “Anything You Want”, and a few weeks later it was for sale. My first book. Simple as that. telling my tale. But a lot of small
Scuba, panic, empathy
I used to scoff at those people who had panic attacks. “The cake is late! Oh no! I’m freaking out! I can’t breathe!” Ridiculous. Hysterical. Over-reacting. learning scuba diving, and went on my first practice dive. While I was 15 meters underwater, I felt a sudden need to get out of there. My heart raced. Alarms in my brain. My body filled with terror. I raced up to the surface and pulled off my mask. The instructor came up, so I told him, “I need to go. I hate this. I’ll just wait on the shor
Writing one sentence per line
My advice to anyone who writes: Try writing one sentence per line. I’ve been doing it for twenty years, and it improved my writing more than anything else. New sentence? Hit [Enter]. New line. Not publishing one sentence per line, no. Write like this for your eyes only. HTML or Markdown combine separate lines into one paragraph. Why is it so useful? It helps you judge each sentence on its own. We sometimes write sentences that don’t need to exist. Hidden in a paragraph, we might not noti
The joke that changed my life
Growing up in America, I didn’t know much about other cultures. When I was 25, my band got some gigs in Europe — my first time there. It was 1995. The European Union was new. I heard a street performer in Copenhagen tell this joke: “The EU will be a success if … “The EU will be a disaster if … The European crowd all laughed. They seemed to know the stereotypes in the joke. But I was confused. I could figure out the French chef and Italian lover, but the rest were a mystery. That night
Find a good available .com domain
If you need a new domain name, and you want a .com, and you don’t want to type random ideas into a registrar search, here’s a way to do it. Download the list of all registered .com domains First, apply for access to the zone file, using ICANN’s Centralized Zone Data Service (CZDS) at https://czds.icann.org/. It’s free, but takes a few days to get approved. Read more about it here. com.txt.gz. Extract the unique names com.txt has 404 million lines like this: Domains usually have m
Travel is best with young children
“Once you have a baby, you can’t travel.” I’ve heard this so many times, although only from people who haven’t done it. it’s not only easy but great. Travelling with a baby or young child is the best way to visit somewhere new, exotic, and interesting. It’s even better than travelling alone or as a couple. Here’s why. They help you stop and appreciate. When my baby was ten days old, I took him out to a park for the first time, and he saw his first tree. I imagined it from his perspective
Short URLs: why and how
If you make your own website, consider making short URLs. original URLs short in the first place. yoursite.com/blog/2022/05/08/short-urls-why-and-how.html yoursite.com/short Why? Short URLs matter for a few reasons: I can type it or say it. Whether texting, answering an email, or talking to someone on the phone, I can say, “Go to sive.rs/ff for my talk about the first follower.” or “My newest book is at sive.rs/h.” I do this often, so having memorable URLs, easy to type in full, saves
Ancestors, Luck, and Descendants
My Sivers ancestors came from Grantham, Lincolnshire, England on a boat to America in 1849. The boat crashed on rocks in the Irish sea, caught fire in the Atlantic Ocean, got pushed off course repeatedly by storms, and finally landed in New Orleans after two months. New Orleans was overcome with cholera, so they hopped a steam boat up the Mississippi River to St. Louis. Cholera killed nine passengers and the pilot of the boat. Days after they arrived in St. Louis, the city caught fire so they es
Why I left America
I was living on the beach in Santa Monica, California, and life was perfect. I was in paradise, and deeply happy. But I always want to learn and grow. To grow intellectually, you need to be surprised. If we’re not surprised, we’re not really learning. We may add new information, but not really update our understanding of the world. No “Wow!” No “Aha!” I started feeling like my happiness and comfort — my feeling that things here are the way they should be — might make me stagnate, plateau,
Write plain text files
I write almost everything important in my life: thoughts, plans, notes, diaries, correspondence, code, articles, and entire books. My written words are my most precious asset. They are also a history of my life. That’s why I only use plain text files. They are the most reliable, flexible, and long-lasting option. Here’s why. I’ve brought my text files with me since 1990, from Mac to Windows to Linux to BSD, from PCs to laptops to tablets to Android to iOS to a tiny device the size of my th
Generate unique random values directly in the database
You often need to generate random strings, like for login cookies and unique entry codes. create function gen_random_bytes(int) returns bytea as '$libdir/pgcrypto', 'pg_random_bytes' language c strict; create function random_string(len int) returns text as $$ declare chars text[] = '{0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z,a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}'; result text = ''; i int = 0; rand bytea; begin -- generate secure random byt
Database triggers to clean text inputs
Even smart people can accidently put bad data into a database. You could use JavaScript to sanitize all form inputs, but what about when you import a CSV file, or get data from an API? the best place for your data-cleaning functions is in the database itself. So no matter what code is inserting or updating, a database trigger will sanitize it before saving. create table people ( id serial primary key, name text, code text ); create table emails ( id serial primary key, person_id i
Database functions to wrap logic and SQL queries
When you make a database-backed app, you have some functions that need to run multiple database queries. Usually you do in your main code: your JavaScript, Python, Ruby, or whatever. Or what if you need to rewrite some code in a new language? You’ll have a lot of data to rewrite if all this data logic was kept in the surrounding code. In hindsight, data logic should be in the database itself. kept in database functions. Then your surrounding code - your JavaScript, Python, Ruby, or whatev
Database trigger recalculates totals, for data integrity
When you make a database-backed app, you write code to ensure data integrity in related fields. Usually this is done in your main code: your JavaScript, Python, Ruby, Java, or whatever. I encountered this exact situation at my last company, and felt the pain from inventory and even finances becoming wrong, all because some new code was accessing the database directly. put your crucial code in the database itself. This is data logic (not “business logic”) and should be bound to the data. Dat
About my book notes
At sive.rs/book I have a collection of my notes from the 320+ books I’ve read since 2007. That’s all my notes are. I’m not summarizing the book. I’m just saving ideas for myself, for later reflection. I kept these notes private for years, but decided it couldn’t hurt to put them on my site. Notes don’t replace the book It makes me sad when people email to say thanks for my notes because it saved them time from reading the book. Again: these notes are really just for me but I’m sharin
How to Live: conclusion
Is this a duck or bunny? You are the composer and conductor.
Here’s how to live: Balance everything.
All bad things in life come from extremes. Too much of this. Too little of that. Even positive traits, when taken too far, become negative. Like when someone is generous to a fault, or amusing to a fault. Too much of a specific strength is a weakness. If you rise to great heights in only one area, you’re a one-legged giant: easily toppled. When you’re balanced, you’re unlikely to get stressed. You’ve got a stronger foundation and a resilient structure. You can handle surprises, and ma
Here’s how to live: Make change.
Change the world as much as you can. All your learning and thinking is wasted if you don’t take action. People try to explain the world, but the real point is to change the world. People dream or complain about how the world should be, but nothing improves without action. You have to go change things yourself. Don’t accept anything as-is. Everything you encounter must change. Preservation is your enemy. Only dead fish go with the flow. This is how we make progress. What fails is for
Here’s how to live: Make a million mistakes.
You learn best from your mistakes. This is true. So you should deliberately make as many mistakes as possible. You’ll be extremely experienced. You’ll get incredibly smart. You’ll learn more lessons in a day than others learn in a year. Writers say you should quickly finish a bad first draft, because it gets the idea out of your head and into reality, where it can then be improved. Live your whole life this way. Jump into action without hesitation or worry. You’ll be faster and do mor
Here’s how to live: Don’t die.
There’s only one law of nature: if you survive, you win. For something to succeed, everything needs to go right. For something to fail, only one thing needs to go wrong. Avoiding failure leads to success. The winner is usually the one who makes the least mistakes. This is true in investing, extreme skiing, business, flying, and many other fields. Win by not losing. What do you want out of life? That’s hard to answer. What don’t you want? That’s easy. Bad has more power. Insults a
Here’s how to live: Create.
The most valuable real estate in the world is the graveyard. There lie millions of half-written books, ideas never launched, and talents never developed. Most people die with everything still inside of them. Calling yourself creative doesn’t make it true. All that matters is what you’ve launched. Make finishing your top priority. Which would you rather be? Someone who hasn’t created anything in years because you’re so busy consuming? Or someone who hasn’t consumed anything in years bec
Here’s how to live: Love.
Not love, the feeling, but love the active verb. It’s not something that happens to you. It’s something you do. You choose to love something or someone. You can love anything or anyone you decide to love. To love something, first you have to connect with it. Give it your full attention. Deliberately appreciate it. Try this with places, art, and sounds. Try this with activities and ideas. Try this with yourself. Sharing is connecting. Share your knowledge. Share your home. Share y
Here’s how to live: Reinvent yourself regularly.
People say everything is connected. They’re wrong. Everything is disconnected. There is no line between moments in time. It’s a hard fiction to escape. “My parents did that, so that’s why I did this.” No. Those two events are not connected. There is no line between moments in time. Are you more emotional or intellectual? Early bird or night owl? Liberal or conservative? No. Disagree with the question. You aren’t supposed to be easy to explain. Your identity. Your meanings. Yo
Here’s how to live: Get rich.
Suspend judgment. Making money isn’t evil, greedy, shallow, or vain. Money isn’t your worth as a human being, or a substitute for love. But don’t pretend it doesn’t matter. Or consider this: Money is nothing more than a neutral exchange of value. Making money is proof you’re adding value to people’s lives. Aiming to get rich is aiming to be useful to the world. It’s striving to do more for others. Serving more. Sharing more. Contributing more. The world rewards you for creating valu
Here’s how to live: for others.
Focusing on yourself seems smarter and easier, but it’s short-sighted. It’s ignoring the huge benefit of cooperation. Even if you prefer solitude, you have to admit that being a valuable member of a group is smarter. The best way to be safe is to help others be safe. The best way to be connected is to help others be connected. People look out for each other. But nobody helps the unhelpful. You can’t actually pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Ultimately you are lifted by those around
Here’s how to live: Prepare for the worst.
Things are going to get harder. The future will test your strength. You’ll get injured or sick, losing some of your ability to see, hear, move, or think. You’ll wish for the health you have now. The future is unpredictable and uncontrollable. Picture all the things that could go wrong. Prepare for each, so they won’t surprise or hurt you. Remember the fable of the ant and the grasshopper? The grasshopper was just enjoying the summer, teasing the ant for working instead of relaxing. T
Here’s how to live: Laugh at life.
A gorilla, speaking with sign language, makes a joke. We’re amazed. She’s showing the fullest expression of a soul. A recovering hospital patient makes a joke. We’re relieved. Not just their body, but their soul is alive. What does this tell us? Humor means using your mind beyond necessity, beyond reality, for both noticing and imagining. That’s why we admire a quick wit. It shows you quickly looked at something from many angles, found the one that amused you the most, and considerat
Here’s how to live: Follow the great book.
You know what your great book is. Whether the Bible, Tanakh, Upanishads, Quran, Think and Grow Rich, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, or another, follow it diligently. People say they want to make their own decisions. But imagine that you have a life-or-death medical situation, so you rush to the doctor, and the doctor says, “There are hundreds of different approaches we could take. You decide. It’s up to you.” You would say, “No! You’re the doctor. You’re the expert. You know best.
Here’s how to live: Learn.
Learning is underrated. People wonder why they’re not living their ideal life. Maybe they never learned how. The biggest obstacle to learning is assuming you already know. Confidence is usually ignorance. Don’t believe what you think. Have questions, not answers. Doubt everything. The easiest person to fool is yourself. If you’re not embarrassed by what you thought last year, you need to learn more and faster. When you’re really learning, you’ll feel stupid and vulnerable — like a h
Here’s how to live: Value only what has endured.
The longer something lasts, the longer it will probably last. Something that’s been around for a year will probably be around for another year. Something that’s been around for fifty years will probably be around for another fifty years. Think back to ten years ago. Remember the technologies that the media were hyping as the future? How many lasted? It’s hard to remember because we haven’t heard of most of them since then. They didn’t stand the test of time. The media focuses on what’s
Here’s how to live: Chase the future.
Live in the world of tomorrow. Surround yourself only with what’s brand new and upcoming. That’s where life is made. It’s the most optimistic environment, full of hope and promises. It’s the most exciting way to live. Every day will be like a child’s birthday, with surprising new breakthroughs. It keeps your brain healthy, young, and active. Since everything will always be new, you won’t rely on assumptions or habits. You’ll pay full attention and keep learning every day. Work as a fu
Here’s how to live: Be a famous pioneer.
Nobody had ever run a mile in under four minutes. It seemed impossible. But one day, Roger Bannister did it, and the news spread worldwide. Over the next two years, thirty-seven people also did it. Debussy, Charlie Parker, Jimi Hendrix, and Rakim pioneered new approaches to music. Rosa Parks, Harvey Milk, Sally Ride, and Malala Yousafzai broke the glass ceiling, encouraging others to rise. Modern explorers like Tim Ferriss, Neil Strauss, and A.J. Jacobs, instead of finding unknown lands,
Here’s how to live: Do whatever you want now.
The past? That’s what we call our memories. The future? That’s what we call our imagination. Neither exists outside of your mind. The only real time is this moment. So live accordingly. Whatever benefits you right now is the right choice. When people ask the meaning of life, they’re looking for a story. But there is no story. Life is a billion little moments. They’re not a part of anything. Doing whatever makes you happy now is smart. When you’re happy, you think better. More of
Here’s how to live: Pursue pain.
Everything good comes from some kind of pain. Muscle fatigue makes you healthy and strong. The pain of practice leads to mastery. Difficult conversations save your relationships. Anyone can be their best when things are going well. But when things go wrong, you see who they really are. Remember the classic story arc of the hero’s journey. The crisis — the most painful moment — defines the hero. The goal of life is not comfort. Pursuing comfort is both pathetic and bad for you. Comfor
Here’s how to live: Let randomness rule.
We think we see patterns and causes. Really there are none. We think events are meaningful. Really they’re just coincidence. We’re not used to the logic of probability. Life is more random than it seems. So randomize your life. Use a random generator — an app, a roll of the dice, or a shuffled deck of cards — to make all of your life’s decisions. Choose a life where you choose nothing. Let the random generator decide what you do, where you go, and who you meet. Randomness keeps your
Here’s how to live: Master something.
Be a monomaniac on a mission to be truly great at something difficult. Mastery is the best goal because the rich can’t buy it, the impatient can’t rush it, the privileged can’t inherit it, and nobody can steal it. You can only earn it through hard work. Mastery is the ultimate status. Concentrating all of your life’s force on one thing gives you incredible power. Sunlight won’t catch a stick on fire. But if you use a magnifying glass to focus the sunlight on one spot, it will. Mastery n
Here’s how to live: Make memories.
You recently had a day, or even a month, that you can’t remember. If I asked what you did then, you couldn’t say. There was nothing unusual about it. When you’re young, time goes slowly because everything is new. When you get older, time flies by, forgotten, because you’re not having as many new experiences. Go make memories. Do memorable things. Experience the unusual. Pursue novelty. Replace your routines. Live in different places. Change your career every few years. These unique
Here’s how to live: Intertwine with the world.
We’re all cousins. Everybody on Earth, no matter how far apart, has a surprisingly recent common ancestor. Go meet your family in the Middle East, in Asia, in Africa, in the Americas, and in Europe. Understand that there is no “them”. It’s just “us”. Feel those connections. If you want a successful network of connections, what matters is not how many people you know but how many different kinds of people you know. Building relationships worldwide brings more opportunity, more variety, an
Here’s how to live: Think super-long-term.
In 1790, Benjamin Franklin gifted £2000 to the cities of Philadelphia and Boston by putting it into a 200-year trust, and by 1990 it was worth over $7 million. If you put $2000 into the stock market for 200 years at the average 8% return, it will be worth over $9 billion. If you can do $100,000, it will be worth over $483 billion. Actions amplify through time to have a massive impact on the future. Let this fact guide your life. Use a time machine in your mind, constantly picturing your fu
Here’s how to live: Do nothing.
The ten commandments said what not to do. Most of being a good person is not doing bad. Don’t be cruel or selfish. Don’t lie or steal. Just do no harm. Criminals justify their crimes by saying they were in a crisis and had to do something. People mistakenly say yes to work, people, and places they don’t like, then need to escape to get away from their mistakes. People make bad decisions because they felt they had to decide. It would have been wiser to do nothing. Actions often have th
Here’s how to live: Fill your senses.
See it all. Touch it all. Hear it all. Taste it all. Do it all. Appreciate this wonderful physical world. Maximize your inputs. See all the places. Eat all the food. Hear all the music. Meet all the people. Kiss all the beauties. Be insatiable. Be systematic. Follow guides. “Top Places You Must Visit” “Greatest Movies of All Time” “Best Restaurants in Town” Go through them all. That’s the optimized way to experience the most, without repetition. Find places that bombard yo
Here’s how to live: Commit.
If you’ve ever been confused or distracted, with too many options… If you don’t finish what you start… If you’re not with a person you love… … then you’ve felt the problem. The problem is a lack of commitment. This is a life-changing epiphany. You can stop seeking the best option. Pick one and irreversibly commit. Then it becomes the best choice for you. Voilà. You think you want more choice and more options. But when you have unlimited choice, you feel worse. When you keep all opt
Here’s how to live: Be independent.
All misery comes from dependency. If you weren’t dependent on income, people, or technology, you would be truly free. The only way to be deeply happy is to break all dependencies. People think we live in a world of politics, society, norms, and news. But none of it is real. They’re just interpersonal drama. They’re the noisy waste product of unhealthy minds. Rules and norms were created by the upper class to protect their privilege — to categorize people into high versus low society. N
Considerate book pricing
I love having my own store so I can make things the way I think they should be. Let’s separate these two things: Contents: the words in a book Delivery: the ways to get the words into your brain: paper, audio, PDF, HTML, etc. buy the contents, not delivery. Today you want to read silently by the fire. Tomorrow you want to listen while you drive. In ten years, you want to read it again on your new device. This should all be included when you buy a book. But following this philosophy,
How many pets do you have?
I used to have too many pets. My house was overflowing. But it didn’t feel that way at the time. In each moment, I was giving just one pet my full attention. My life was full of so many loves. I sadly realized this was unfair. The situation was hurting them. No pet was thriving. No pet was getting the attention it deserved. The situation was also hurting me. Anyone who wanted to come into my life had to compete for my attention, or love all of my pets. I was scattered and unavailable. My
$250K books sold. $250K to save lives.
2023 UPDATE: see “$575K of books sold. $575K to save lives.” Six weeks ago I emailed my private email list with a secret link to buy my new books. I made 5000 limited edition hardcover copies of each, but those have sold out now. Then I thought about what to do with the money. There’s nothing I want to buy. Should I put it in an investment account? Eh. For what purpose? I don’t want more money. GiveWell decide. Against Malaria Foundation. That will buy 125,000 malaria nets, protecting ~
Time is personal. Your year changes when your life changes.
A new day begins when I wake up, not at midnight. Midnight means nothing to me. It’s not a turning point. Nothing changes at that moment. I can understand using moments like midnight and January 1st as coordinators, so cultures and computers can agree on how to reference time. But shouldn’t our personal markers and celebrations happen at personally meaningful times? This isn’t selfish. You know your friends and family well enough to acknowledge these special days for them, too. The day tha
Experiments in music and life
One approach to music is to do whatever you want. Absolutely anything goes. But to me, that’s too free. It’s anti-inspiring because having infinite options is overwhelming. So my favorite approach to music is in-between. You make up your own rules, and apply them to a piece of music. You know what this is called? An experiment! Experiment with limitations. Write a piece using only two instruments and five notes. Write a lyric using only nouns and no verbs. Experiment with density. Write
Writing daily, but posting when ready
I just finished an experiment. Last month, I published a new article to my blog every day. I’m glad I tried it, but ultimately I didn’t like it. Here’s why: It made my writing worse, not better. I was trying to force a conclusion quicker. I was skipping steps 2-5 of my writing process. I didn’t have the time to look at more angles or doubt my first conclusion. I was spending more time being shallow, to get something posted, instead of taking that time to go deeper. I only post something to th
How I got rich on the other hand
I don’t usually talk about money, but a friend asked me what it was like to get rich, and he wanted to know specifics, so I told him my story. a day job in midtown Manhattan paying $20K per year — about minimum wage. On weekends I would earn $150 per day performing circus shows for kids, though I’d spend about $50 in bus fare to get to the gigs. I was sharing a three-bedroom apartment with two other roommates in Queens, so our rent was $333 per month each. I made peanut butter sandwiches for th
Podcast published today
Starting today you can follow my podcast at sive.rs/podcast.rss or listen on the web at sive.rs/podcast. my posts since September 22nd. 33 episodes so far. this Ruby script. The MP3s are just hosted on my own server. I skipped all the podcast hosting services, because I’ll never have ads so I don’t care about analytics, tracking, and all of that. This is all an experiment. Please let me know if you have any suggestions.
When in doubt, try the difference
If you’re in doubt about something that’s not in your life, try it. Things are so different in practice versus in theory. The only way to know is to experience it yourself. Try it examples: Moving somewhere very different? Err on the side of yes. Try it. If it was a mistake, at least you’ll know first-hand, instead of always wondering. If you’re in doubt about something that’s in your life already, get rid of it. Not just things, this goes for identities, habits, goals, relationship
Why experts are annoying
When someone becomes an expert at something, you know what else they become? Annoying. The problem is that their expertise makes them annoyed. They’re trained to spot errors. They’re so aware of what’s wrong. Even worse, they know exactly how to fix it. They learned the techniques to make things great, so they’re angry when someone didn’t do the obvious solution. They get so frustrated that they can’t focus on their meal, because now they really want to fix the problem. So only those who are
What you learn by travelling
I wanted to learn about the world, so I went travelling. People up north are so serious, I felt like a lightweight clown. The way we define ourself is all relative to our surroundings, right? However we differ from the people in our home town is how we define ourself. That’s where we shape our self-identity, growing up. Those are our defining traits. Back home I’m considered quiet. Here I’m considered loud. Back home I’m normal. Here I’m strange. Or vice-versa. So how do I define myself
PostgreSQL example of self-contained stored procedures
First, see my previous article about PostgreSQL functions at sive.rs/pg. That article gave tiny examples, but no finished working code. So I took a couple extra hours today to put my code into public view, so anyone can play around with it. See github.com/sivers/store, to browse, download, and try it. using stored procedures to keep all the data logic together in one place. You can use it from JavaScript, Python, Ruby, or any language you want, since all the functionality is in the database i
Mastery school
Here’s an idea: Create a little school somewhere remote. School of what? School of mastery. This uses Salman Khan’s proposal to “flip the classroom” so that the core of learning is done in independent study, using online materials. Talent Code Mastery Atomic Habits Art of Learning Peak Performance Talent is Overrated Overachivement and Peak. So you can see how the general skill of guiding and coaching talent, in any field, could be the best focus of the on-site staff. Some shared resource
Monthly self-expansion project
Here’s an idea: Every month, pick something you hate or know nothing about, and get to know it well. Spend a few hours per week, for an entire month, just learning about that subject. Why? It made me realize that some of the greatest joys in my life are the things I used to hate, or know nothing about, and now have grown to love. Read my post “Loving what I used to hate” for my story about that. civil engineering Tolstoy archery Bollywood dog training Dungeons and Dragons chess Zanzibar cry
Living according to your hierarchy of values
My “daily” blog was silent the last four days, because I took my kid on a spontaneous trip to another country. No phone. No computer. I gave him my full attention every day from when he woke me in the morning to when we fell asleep together at night. It was great. being with him is more important than writing. sleeping on it, I realized that no, writing is more important than exploring. you have to ask yourself if you’re living accordingly. Money? Or time? (… etc.) Once you know which
How to ask your mentors for help
I have three mentors. Before sending it, I try to predict what they’ll say. Then I go back and update what I wrote to address these obvious points in advance. Finally, I try again to predict what they’ll say to this, based on what they’ve said in the past and what I know of their philosophy. If anything, I might email to thank them for their continued inspiration. Truth is, I’ve hardly talked with my mentors in years. None of them know they are my mentors. And one doesn’t know I exist.
When you win the game, you stop playing
Someone asked me today why I don’t charge money for the things I do. I already did that. more than I’ll ever be able to spend. You stop playing, and go do something else.
Digital pollution
You couldn’t just roll down the street leaving huge piles of garbage everywhere you go, making life slower for everyone as they climb over your mountains of junk, just to get on with their life. You’d feel bad about it, right? I prefer coding everything by hand, because I don’t like the huge piles of garbage that the automated generators create. These programs that generate a website, app, or file for you spit out thousands of lines of unnecessary junk when really only 10 lines are needed. The
Cut out everything that’s not surprising
This is my advice to anyone writing something for the public — especially a talk on stage. They want a little “oh wow” moment. “I never thought of it that way before.” So my main advice to anyone preparing to give a talk on stage is to cut out everything from your talk that’s not surprising. (Nobody has ever complained that a talk was too short.) Use this rule in all your public writing. If you already found something surprising in what you’re presenting, then remove everything else. If y
Heed your fears
People often ask me how they can get over their fears. For example, they are scared to quit their job and start a business. They want me to say something to make their fears go away. My advice is the opposite. Don’t get over it. Get under it. Always ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Because sometimes the only problem was not realizing that the worst case scenario isn’t bad at all. But don’t just tell yourself to get over it or ignore it.
Daydreaming is my favorite pastime
Somewhere in our past, we were told it’s bad to daydream, because it meant doing nothing — staring out the window — instead of doing what we’re supposed to be doing. To admit we’re daydreaming felt like it needed an apology. About half the time that I used to read a book, I now just skip the book, and sit there daydreaming instead. And I almost never watch videos anymore. I just close my eyes and daydream. Which were the top three best times in my life so far? What would I write a screenpl
Anti-chameleon
I don’t know why I have this rebellious nature. I tend to want to be the opposite of my surroundings. My ambitious friends bring out the slacker in me. My lethargic friends make me feel like superman. Is it a desire for balance? To represent what seems under-represented in this situation? Is it my love of seeing the other side? But I’m not the same from day to day, even when alone. I rebel against myself, too. If I’ve been thinking or acting one way for too long, I try another way. Seein
Where we do and don’t want automation
I used to use Gmail. But one day, as I typed my mother’s email address into the “To:” field, Google popped up a prompt asking if I also wanted to CC my uncle. That was so invasive and creepy that I deleted the account immediately and never used it again. I don’t want automated intelligence in my private email. Another friend lives in a tech-free rustic cabin with no screens, but drives a Tesla. When software is described as “auto-”, “smart”, or “intelligent” it means that somebody else put t
Human nature to focus on the one bad thing
Today my bus was delayed, and I was really annoyed. No, wait, I should give the full story. Today I was super-lucky and got to the first bus just before it left. If I would have emerged from the airport a minute later, I would have waited an hour for the next one. Then I got home and downloaded my emails. There were about fifty really nice ones, and one nasty one. That’s what put me in a worse mood. It’s human nature. We all do it. Life is wonderful, and we focus on the one thing that’s
Back and forth between super-hot and super-cold
The most relaxed feeling I know is after going back and forth between a super-hot pool and super-cold pool. Today I went to the Löyly sauna in Helsinki, Finland. I stayed in the super-hot sauna room until I couldn’t stand it. Then I’d jump in the icy ocean until I couldn’t stand it. I went back and forth like this for almost two hours. It’s so wonderful. … trying different ways to approach life. I’ll do the domestic life for a while — with a house, car, dog, furniture, stocked kitchen, an
Err on the side of action, to test theories
I spend a lot time thinking of alternate ways to approach life. When values change, the plan of action needs to change, too. But the only way to decide — to not be Buridan’s donkey — is to go give it a try. If it turns out to be a mistake, that’s fine. At least you’ll know it’s a mistake in fact, instead of just in theory.
Blowing off work to play
What do you call it when you skip school or work for a day, to do whatever you want instead? In America, we call it playing hooky. In England, we call it skiving. (Got another word for it?) I think it’s a healthy practice, to occasionally blow off a previous commitment, and do whatever you want instead. It’s a great reminder that you’re the boss of your life. When I think back about the times in my life where I got the most done, created the most, or had a major breakthrough in some aspect o
What happens when we ignore plans?
I took my 7-year-old to London today. I made two plans: if it rains, we go to a museum, if not, we go to the zoo. We immediately ran across some random building with a big art installation on its side. There was nobody around. We played there for a long time. We were in front of the theater with the musical “Wicked”, just as they were about to begin. We bought last-minute tickets, 8th row center, and watched the show. He held hands with a girl sitting next to him. We make plans to make the
Tour -isms
Since I’m living in Europe now, I thought it would be good to tour everywhere in Europe, and get to know it better. don’t take photos. What I want is to get to know the mindset, the world-view of each place. The philosophy. instead of touring places, we toured ideas? Can I tour the “-ism”s? Very Short Introduction books includes: Agnosticism Anglicanism Atheism Calvinism Catholicism Confucianism Existentialism Feminism Hinduism Judaism Methodism Monasticism Multicul
Meta-considerate
My friend has a huge crush on someone. He thinks he’s being considerate, but he’s actually being inconsiderate. Meta-inconsiderate. People want a romantic partner that’s a “catch” — someone almost out of their league. We want a good deal. We want to win someone. He’s not letting her dance. Since he keeps pushing forward, there’s nowhere for her to go but backward. He’s not letting her come to him. It’s considerate to greet someone with a smile. But it’s meta-considerate to not smile unti
Daydreaming the downside, for once
A few years ago, I thought it would be fun to get into camping. I carefully picked out then bought some highly-recommended gear: a tent, two sleeping bags, two air mattresses, and a light backpack. Maschine. After a few weeks of this, I felt the time was right. I bought one. I played with it a while for the first day, then got back to my normal life, intending to spend more time with it. But I never did. I’ve never tried a carbon frame, modern gearing, or any of the cool new developments
Where to find the hours to make it happen
When you experience someone else’s genius work, a little part of you feels, “That’s what I could have, would have, and should have done!” They fought the resistance. You gave in to distractions. They took the time. You meant to. You could let that part of you give up. “Oh well. Now I don’t need to make that anymore.” It takes many hours to make what you want to make. The hours don’t suddenly appear. You have to steal them from comfort. Whatever you were doing before was comfortable.
Your heroes show which way you’re facing
People with many interests often ask my advice on which industry or career path they should follow. But something never felt quite right about this. I spend most of my time writing, very little time programming, and hadn’t started a business in years. Still, I kept saying I was a programmer and entrepreneur, and felt I should really spend more time doing it. “Who are my heroes?” authors! Basically, look at my list of favorite books, and there are my heroes. So, that day, I realized I ac
Don’t quote. Make it yours and say it yourself.
Which sounds better to you? Thinking, Fast and Slow, Nobel-prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman said, ‘Nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you are thinking about it.’.” “Whatever’s on your mind is not as important as it seems.” After far too many times hearing myself referencing this book and that book, always naming titles and authors, I realized it was a lot of unnecessary clutter. I could see my listeners waiting for me to get to the point. It was inconsiderate
Have a private email account
I used to like the internet. I thought it was cool, creative, wild, untamed, expressive, decentralized, and educational. I guess it was, back then, but now? I kinda hate most of what’s out there. Then I thought about what I do like. I highly recommend setting up a private email address. Fastmail, Posteo, Mailbox, or any similar service where you actually pay $1-$3 per month and in return get a completely ad-free spam-free wonderful email experience. Let your old Gmail collect the junk. Th
Future posthumous autobiography
I’ve started writing my autobiography. I’ll keep writing it for the rest of my life. It’s private now, but will be released the week I die. My assistants, family, and friends will have instructions on how to publish it as soon as I die. A few clicks and commands and it’s published in all formats, print-on-demand, and ready to go the same day. Don’t worry : I don’t plan on dying for a long time. My health is great and all is well. This is just my version of the old advice to “write your own e
Cross the world four times
Cross the world four times. Cross the world the first time to fall in love. Cross the world the second time to make change. Cross the world the third time to unlearn. Cross the world the last time to say goodbye.
What I did belies why
Imagine you host a dinner party with two doctors and two accountants. You introduce the doctors to each other and the accountants to each other, assuming they’d have the most in common. And actually one accountant got into it because her dad’s family business was the victim of embezzling, and she’s on a mission to make sure that never happens again. The other accountant is in it for the money. I learned this slowly and uncomfortably after I sold my music distribution company. Knowing I had a
Would you make your art if you were the last person on earth?
Musicians, photographers, writers, and artists of all sorts: For me, it’s an immediate YES — of course! In fact, it might make the experience even better. She said, “Ultimately, everything I do is for other people.” When I’m creating anything, I do it mostly for my own curiosity — to see how I can develop this fun idea in my head. Even when I’m providing a service that seems generous, I’m really doing it because it seemed like a fun system to build. If people like what I’ve made, that’s ju
Travel without social praise
I met a couple who were thinking of quitting their jobs and travelling the world for a year. They asked my thoughts. Why? Because we often live for others, without even realizing it. We are trying to impress an invisible crowd. We like the social reward of saying, “We’re travelling the world!” We imagine how friends and strangers would react to this big news. Do we really want to do this thing, for its own sake? Or do we just want the praise? the first person to run a marathon without tal
Travel without a phone
The first time, it was an accident. I walked around Seoul for twelve hours that day and experienced so many wonderful things. I remember them all vividly now, years later, but I have no photos of it. and hold up my camera to record it. Besides, how often do I look at those photos later, anyway? I find it more useful to refer to my journal of how I felt, instead of what I saw. So now I intentionally travel without a phone. Where you are is partially defined by where you are not. When you’r
initialize
I’m starting a podcast today. https://sive.rs/podcast.rss.
My old clothes don’t fit
I was uncomfortable, unhappy, and restless. I didn’t want to meet new people, because I felt I was giving the wrong impression. Something wasn’t right. It took me months to figure out the real problem: My clothes don’t fit anymore! Eventually, after a lot of searching, I found clothes that are just my size. But I couldn’t get them on! There was no room at all. I’m embarrassed to say I overlooked something obvious. I was trying to wear new clothes on top of the old ones. I didn’t realize I ha
Doors and windows and what’s real
Like everyone, I live in a little house with many doors and windows. One window looks out at the nature around me. I’m getting to know this one tree really well. I toss a little dog food out there each day, and watch the local birds and rodents come by to eat it. One door goes to my connections — the people around the world with mutual interests. A dozen people a day knock on this door and say hello. Sometimes more. One skylight looks far into the future. I daydream there a lot. But one
I’ve moved from New Zealand to Oxford England
I rarely cry, but I cried a lot last month, leaving New Zealand. I’ve never loved and felt so connected to a place before. It wasn’t simple sadness that made me cry, but overflowing appreciation. I’d been feeling it for years, almost every day, amazed at not just the nature but the people and way of life. Knowing I was leaving made me re-play all my memories from my last six years. Most of that time spent playing in the wilderness with my kid. The memories are so overwhelmingly wonderful that se
Benefits of a daily diary and topic journals
You know those people whose lives are transformed by meditation or yoga or something like that? After 20+ years of doing this, here’s what I do and recommend: A daily diary If digital, use only plain text. It’s a standard format not owned by any company. It will be readable in 50 years on devices we haven’t even imagined yet. Don’t use formats that can only be read by one program, because that program won’t be around in 50 years. Don’t use the cloud, unless you’re also going to download it
Subtract
Life can be improved by adding, or by subtracting. The world pushes us to add, because that benefits them. But the secret is to focus on subtracting. The adding mindset is deeply ingrained. It’s easy to think I need something else. It’s hard to look instead at what to remove. The most successful people I know have a narrow focus, protect themselves against time-wasters, say no to almost everything, and have let go of old limiting beliefs. Subtracting reminds me that what I need to change
The art of selfishness
David grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, USA, with five brothers and sisters. But his mother was on her death bed. An undiagnosable illness seemed like it was going to take her at any time. All of her children were visiting her every day. He was very conflicted and felt horrible about this, but still felt that he had to accept the offer. So he moved to Vienna. David told his story at the age of 38 and said, “And now, 20 years later, my mother is still alive. I’ve followed my dreams, had a gre
You don’t need confidence, just contribution.
Years ago, I was so confident and so naive. I was sure I was right and everyone else was wrong. sold my company, I felt ready to do something new, so I started to learn. But the more I learned, the more I realized how little I knew and how dumb-lucky I had been. I’d start to make new things, but then see how stupid they revealed me to be, so I’d stop. I lost all confidence. I spent a few years completely stuck. This isn’t about me. How I feel in this moment doesn’t matter — it will pas
Unlearning
Things I learned in the past are now wrong. Times have changed. Ways that used to work don’t work anymore. The old road collapsed. There’s a tunnel through the mountain now. When the old map is wrong, we can’t just draw a new line on it — we need to get a new map or we’ll be following closed roads. The solution is deliberate unlearning. Doubt what I know. Require current proof that it’s still true today. Otherwise, let it go. Where I had expertise before, I don’t now. People ask my a
If you’re not feeling “hell yeah!” then say no
Most of us have lives filled with mediocrity. We said yes to things that we felt half-hearted about. The solution is to say yes to less. It’s an easier decision. Say no to almost everything. This starts to free your time and mind. Though it’s good to say yes when you’re starting out, wanting any opportunity, or needing variety, it’s bad to say yes when you’re overwhelmed, over-committed, or need to focus. Refuse almost everything. Do almost nothing. But the things you do, do them all th
About this book
In my first book, Anything You Want, I told the story of how I started, grew, and sold my company. I thought a lot about what’s worth doing, fixing faulty thinking, and making things happen. For the next ten years, I wrote for hours a day in my private journal, asking myself questions and answering them. When these thoughts seemed useful to others, I’d turn them into articles, which are now the chapters of this book. Or just say hello at sive.rs/contact I love hearing from people who have fo
OpenBSD : why and how
The only operating system I use on my computers is not Mac, not Windows, and not even Linux. It’s OpenBSD, and I love it so much. So I figured I should say a little something about why, and how you can try it. It’s probably not for you. It’s not for beginners. Most people should use Ubuntu. If software bloat doesn’t bother you — if every new Mac/Windows/Linux release you say, “Bring on the features! The more the better!” — it’s not for you. different goals. great coding. firewall, webse
Moving for good
You are the way you are because of what you’ve experienced. But if you keep experiencing the same things, your mind keeps its same patterns. Same inputs, same responses. Your brain, which was once curious and growing, gets fixed into deep habits. Your values and opinions harden and resist change. If you don’t flex, you lose your flexibility. With effort, you could do this from the comfort of home. But the most effective way to shake things up is to move across the world. Pick a place that’s
Detailed dreams blind you to new means.
There’s a fable of a man stuck in a flood. Convinced that God is going to save him, he says no to a passing canoe, boat, and helicopter that offer to help. He dies, and in heaven asks God why He didn’t save him. God says, “I sent you a canoe, a boat, and a helicopter!” New technologies make old things easier, and new things possible. That’s why you need to re-evaluate your old dreams to see if new means have come along. Some authors are just waiting for a publisher to sign them. Others are
Include everyone in your success.
Everyone who is drawn to you before you’re famous is thinking the same thing: You might be famous soon! fans who want to help you musicians who want to play with you As you get more successful, share that success with those who helped you years ago. When you’re in the tornado of fame, you can’t depend on your memory. So use your database now to keep track of who has done special favors for you. When you are famous, return the favors. Reach out to contact them, and invite them into you
My writing process
This is what I do for everything I post: Argue against those ideas. Leave it for a few days or years, then repeat those steps. Reduce them to a tiny outline of the key points. trash photo by Lisa Congdon
Keep in touch.
When I was promoting myself as a musician, I noticed an interesting pattern. If I had a good conversation with somebody in the music business, then quite often they would send an opportunity my way within a day or two. Yes I just said this twice to emphasize it. This is important. There were some amazing musicians whose music I loved, so I contacted them to tell them I’m a huge fan, and would love to help however I can. But if they didn’t keep in touch, they eventually fell out of my mind. I
Be an extreme character.
This is both fun and considerate. Push your outer boundaries. Show your weirdness. Bring out all your quirks. The world needs that. Some of the biggest musicians of the last few decades have admitted they were playing a character. Eminem, for example, said he wrote lyrics with the goal of shocking a passive listener into paying attention. Then he built his public persona to match the lyrics. It’s more interesting for the audience if you’re the opposite of normal. So be an extreme charact
Get specific!
This is one of the most useful lessons I’ve learned in life. There are two ways to do it: Inside your head, there is more than you’ve said. Take the time to write it all down. When you’re feeling stuck or unmotivated, figure out your next step. Even something as simple as finishing a song is easier when you realize exactly what’s wrong. #2: Research what you don’t know. For example: When musicians say, “I need a booking agent”, I ask, “Which one? What’s their name?” A life coach to
What it means to be resourceful
I was at a musicians’ gathering in Memphis. I met a lot of people complaining that their various forms of online distribution weren’t earning them as much as they’d hoped. I asked him how he did it. He said, “I just slowly drove around the city every night, with the windows down, playing my music loud. When I saw someone digging it, I’d go talk with them. I’d sell almost everyone a copy — about 20 or 30 a night. Been doing this about a year. Sold 8000 so far.” It got me thinking about what i
Rock stars have a boss?
I was 20 years old. I had just moved to New York City. And I was working inside the music industry. Warner/Chappell. It was a huge room, near the executives’ offices, and I had it all to myself. What surprised me was this: These rock stars’ biggest complaints were about the things they were forced to do, or not allowed to do! Things like, “I think the album is perfect and finished, but the label says they don’t hear a hit, so they’re making me co-write.” Or, “I wanted to make a video with t
Never wait.
One of the top music industry lawyers in Los Angeles was speaking at a conference. The lawyer shocked the audience when she said, “Sell it anyway. Don’t wait for permission. Save the proof that you tried your best to reach them. If they contact you to ask for money some day, pay them then. But never wait.” It was a reminder that your career is more important than its details. Success is your top priority. Never let anything stop you.
The higher the price, the more they value it.
Psychology experiments have shown that the more people pay for something, the more they value it. People who paid more for tickets were more likely to attend the performance. If you sign a deal with a company, negotiate the biggest up-front advance possible. Even if you don’t need the money, it’s the best strategy, because the higher your advance, the harder the company will work to earn it back. It ends up being better for everyone. So it’s considerate to charge more for your work. Peo
Creative communication
The way you communicate with people is part of your art. start of your art! If you are an “in-your-face country-metal-speedpunk” artist, have the guts to call a potential booking agent and scream, “Listen you crazy dirtbag! Book me or I explode! Waaaaaah!!” If they like that introduction, you’ve found a good match. Proudly alienate those that don’t. The gentle new-age artist always calls me “sweetie” and reminds me to nourish my soul. The rebellious punk never calls me by my name, but in
Considerate communication
You get a big long email from someone and think, “Ooof. I’ll come back to that later.” (Then you never do.) You have a dilemma and need a good conversation, so you reach out to someone who replies, “Can you make it quick?” It’s hard to match your communication with someone else’s preference and situation. First, prepare the most succinct version of your reason for contacting someone. Make it so short that if the person only has 30 seconds to talk, you could communicate your point, ask yo
Get personal.
Before I got into the music industry, I had an idea of what it would look like: Some powerful manager or agent calling me into his office to discuss the business of my music. Sometimes I’d send them clients. Sometimes they’d hook me up with opportunities. But really we were just friends, talking about our love life or ideas, hanging out and having fun. One of my best friends in the world is also my lawyer. He’s one of the top music lawyers in the world, but mostly he’s my friend. We talk abo
Pedestals prevent friendships.
I was a struggling musician, with big ambitions but not much success, when I went to a music industry conference in Las Vegas to promote my music. So during lunch I went out to the pool and stuck my feet in the water, just to silently retreat. Some dude sat next to me and did the same. He said, “I see you’ve noticed the bikini girls, too.” I had. So we sat there, feet in the pool, talking about those girls over there, how weird Las Vegas is, how his friend was up all night gambling, and other
Use the internet, not just companies.
I’ve been online since 1994, and seen so many companies come and go. In 2005, it was MySpace. Again, musicians kept all of their music, photos, and fans there. A few years later, it was gone. Not shut down, but basically moot. There was no way to communicate with all of those people, because you didn’t have their direct contact info — you only had their MySpace inbox, which nobody checked anymore. Don’t depend on a company. They come and go. Think long-term. You’re going to be creating stu
Move to the big city.
I hate to admit this, but it’s true. It’s the place where everything happens. Where the biggest media companies in the world are based. Where the money is flowing. Where the most successful agents, producers, and executives live and work. Where the most ambitious people go. I’ve lived in a bunch of places now, but when I look back at my career, it’s obvious that the biggest breakthroughs happened because I was living in the heart of the music industry in New York and Los Angeles. Once you’
Why you need a database
A database is just an organized collection of information. You could have a database of your music or your books. But I’m going to talk about a database of all the people you know. But I’m going to recommend you go further than that, and also keep track of: your private notes about people (“served in the army, loves talking politics”) physical location (“London, England”) Because the other best feature of a database is that it can personalize your communication. Instead of blasting out
Shed your money taboos.
Everyone has weird mental associations with money. But after knowing thousands of musicians for over twenty years, I’ve learned this: The happiest musicians are the ones who develop their value, and confidently charge a high price. There’s a deep satisfaction when you know how valuable you are, and the world agrees. Then it reinforces itself, because you can focus on being the best artist you can be, since you’ve found an audience that rewards you for it. Money is nothing more than a neut
Pricing philosophy
For years I made a living playing at universities. two-hour show. She said, “Oh, that’s a bit too much. What would you charge to do just a one-hour show?” She said, “No, wait, you’ll be performing less, not more!” She liked that so much that she came up with the $1500. Pour your personality and philosophy into the way you do business. People actually appreciate it when you do things in a surprising way. It shows you care more than most — that you’re putting your self into this — that
Art doesn’t end at the edge of the canvas.
Imagine you see a caged feather on a museum wall. The sign underneath says the artist is a political activist in jail. Or imagine that the only way to see it is to crawl deep into a shrinking tunnel that opens into a room of mirrors, where the caged feather is suspended by a thread. The way you present your art, and what people know about it, completely changes how they perceive it. Therefore, your art doesn’t end at the edge of the canvas. Your creative decisions continue all the way to t
It’s hard to get off stage.
Being a songwriter is weird. You dig deep inside yourself. You extract and explain your emotions. Then you broadcast your innermost feelings to the biggest possible audience. Because of this, it’s hard for you to turn that off, switch directions, and just listen to others. It’s OK. Have some compassion for your situation. It’s a side-effect of the craft. Don’t beat yourself up over it. But first, before you begin marketing, get off the stage. Pause your habit of broadcasting. Turn the spotl
“Marketing” just means being considerate.
Don’t confuse the word “marketing” with advertising, announcing, spamming, or giving away branded crap. Marketing means making it easy for people to notice you, relate to you, remember you, and tell their friends about you. Marketing means getting to know people, making a deeper connection, and keeping in touch. All of these are just considerate — looking at things from the other person’s point of view, and doing what’s best for them. Just find creative ways to be considerate. That’s th
Repeatedly follow-up to show you care.
I knew a music publicist in New York City when she was at the peak of her success. A few of her clients had hits, so everyone wanted to work with her. She was flooded with new music. Whenever someone sent their music, it would go into an inbox. That inbox was completely ignored. Then if they followed-up with her a second time, asking again if she’d had the chance to listen, she would take their music out of the second inbox, and put it in a third inbox. That third inbox would get a listen if
Unlikely places and untangled goals
I once went without food for ten days, and that was fine. But the two things I can’t do without for long are solitude and silence. (Freedom from people and their noises.) An Irish friend suggested that I stay at Mount Melleray Abbey, home of the Cistercian Trappist monks, known for their silence. They provide a guest room that’s free for whoever asks. That sounded perfect, so I emailed and asked. They said yes, so I prepared for a solid week of silence. I took my family to the airport, and dro
What are the odds of that?
Three true stories: In 2008, I was in London for a few days. I wondered if Masako still lived there, sixteen years later. “Masako!” In 2007, my band was on tour in Oslo for a few days. I was sitting in a park, wondering if Lucia ever moved there. “Lucia!” I noticed that the guy next to me was reading a book I recommend often: Ego Is the Enemy. He said, “I got it because of you. You’re Derek, right?” Thomas. We had emailed a few days ago. apophenia.) it has no meaning. No secret ag
Parenting : Who is it really for?
Since my son was born five years ago, I’ve spent at least thirty hours a week with him, just one-on-one, giving him my full attention. But I’ve never written about parenting before because it’s a touchy subject — too easily misunderstood. the parenting things I do for him are also for myself. And that’s an idea worth sharing. We’ll go to the beach or forest, and make things with sticks and sand for half a day before he’s ready to switch. Nobody else can play with us like this. Everyone else
To hone your writing, hire a translator.
.ar, .de, .eo, .es, .fr, .ja, .ko, .pt, .ru, .zh, aside { display: none; } Deutsch English Español Esperanto Français Português Русский 中文 日本語 한국어 العربية حتى تتمكن من صقّل كتاباتك، قُم باستئجار مترجم. Um dein Schreiben zu verbessern, engagiere einen Übersetzer. To hone your writing, hire a translator. Por perfektigi vian skribon, dungu tradukiston. Para perfeccionar tu escritura, contrata a un traductor. Pour aiguiser votre plume, engagez un traducteur. あなたの文章に磨きをかけるために翻訳者を雇います
Ego is the Enemy
A friend asked why I don’t write more often. She said, “Or maybe it’s ego.” Ouch. She was right. Very right. Ego is the Enemy”. “Ego is the unhealthy belief in our own importance.” Yep. Confirmed. I feared releasing something unimportant, so I didn’t release anything at all. If you would have asked me if I think I’m so important, I would have said no. But actions, not words, reveal our real values. Read the book “Ego is the Enemy” if this sounds like you, too.
Actions, not words, reveal our real values
I told my old coach that I really wanted to start my new company. I said, “Yes, I do! This is really important to me!” I said, “You can’t ignore what I’m saying. I know myself well. I’m telling you what’s important to me.” I thought about that, but it sounded wrong to me. What about people who want to learn languages, or create businesses, but haven’t started yet? What about people who want to quit smoking or quit their jobs, but haven’t been able to yet? If they really wanted to do it, t
Think like a bronze medalist, not silver
Imagine the Olympics, where you have the three winners of a race standing on the podium: the gold, the silver, and the bronze. Now imagine what it’s like to be the bronze medalist. If you’d been just one second slower, you wouldn’t have won anything! Awesome! You’d be thrilled that you’re officially an Olympic medalist and get to stand on the winner’s podium. The metaphor is easy to understand, but hard to remember in regular life. If you catch yourself burning with envy or resentment, think
Art is useless, and so am I
Art is useless by definition. If it was useful, it would be a tool. That question served me well but had its downsides. It kept me from playing and doing things just for me. It’s no coincidence that I stopped making music twenty years ago. It didn’t qualify as the most useful thing I could be doing. I started seriously learning my first foreign language. It’s totally useless to anyone else, but I love it. Now I realize why all my previous attempts to learn a language didn’t happen. It was
Quitting something you love
Personal change needs some space to happen. To bring something new into your life, you need somewhere to put it. If your current habits are filling your day, where are these new habits supposed to go? We know about quitting something that’s bad for you, or something you hate. But what about quitting something you love? It’s usually something tiny. For example, I used to keep mints in the car. One day when I ran out, I thought, “Oh no! I need more!” But as soon as I felt that need, no — time
Solitary socialite
For the past ten years, I’ve answered up to two hundred emails per day. I sit alone in my little office for hours, engaging with everyone’s stories and questions for a few minutes each. I like what I do, so I’m not complaining — just explaining. It’s unusual to be physically alone, but extremely social. A solitary socialite. It works for me. I love people one-on-one. When I’m not answering emails, I’m often talking on the phone with one of my dear friends across the world, getting into gre
Frequently Asked Questions
In the last ten years, I have answered over 200,000 emails from 86,000 people. It’s my part-time job — my community service. These are the most common questions. What should I do about my career? Read the book “So Good They Can’t Ignore You”. What should I do with my life? Read “Happy, Smart, and Useful”. Can you introduce me to (famous person)? No, sorry. Definitely not on request. ask me if I know someone who’s doing what you’re doing, or have a specific need, then I’ll be glad
How to do what you love and make good money
People with a well-paying job ask my advice because they want to quit to become full-time artists. (Let’s define “art” as anything you do for expression, even just blogging or whatever.) Have a well-paying job. Seriously pursue your art for love, not money. Let’s look at the ingredients of this plan. First: balance. You’ve heard about balancing heart and mind, or right-brain left-brain, or whatever you want to call it. We all have a need for stability and adventure, certainty and uncert
Tilting my mirror (motivation is delicate)
Motivation is delicate. An hour outside my city, there’s a little mountain range. The other side is gorgeous. But the road that crosses the mountains is very twisted, with sharp turns every few seconds. The first two times I drove across, my kid threw up in the back seat. It’s also stressful because I’m surrounded by mountain scenery but I can’t take my eyes off the winding road. Though I drive at a normal speed, the other cars follow impatiently on my tail, because many of them drive this roa
Why are you doing?
It’s crucial to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Social norms are powerful. The inputs that influence you are powerful. A great talk, book, or video can instantly change how you think. For example, if you want to make a lot of money, you need to admit that. If you want to be famous, you need to pursue that. If you want freedom and no responsibilities, or want to learn as much as possible, or whatever else, you need to realize it and embrace it. You can’t diffuse your energy, trying
I’m a very slow thinker
When a friend says something interesting to me, I usually don’t have a reaction until much later. I’m a disappointing person to try to debate or attack. I just have nothing to say in the moment, except maybe, “Good point.” Then a few days later, after thinking about it a lot, I have a response. stupid in the moment, but I don’t mind. I’m not trying to win any debates. interesting one. Then when we’re in a live conversation, I try to make my answers sound spontaneous. When you’re less impul
Keep earning your title, or it expires
Until yesterday, I called myself an entrepreneur. Now, I don’t. Someone who played football in high school can’t call himself an athlete forever. Someone who did something successful long ago can’t keep calling himself a success. Holding on to an old title gives you satisfaction without action. But success comes from doing, not declaring. premature sense of satisfaction can keep you from doing the hard work necessary. now. Today I updated my website to reflect which of my accomplishmen
When you’re extremely unmotivated
Like everyone, I get those times when I’m unmotivated to do anything. Brain dead. No energy. Everything feels like, “Why bother? What’s the point?” Like everyone, I have a list of boring chores that need to be done but that I’ve been putting off for years. I never do them because I’m always more excited about something else. this is a perfect time to do those dull tasks. Conventional wisdom tells us to do the important and difficult thing first. But doing this boring work moves me from a st
Disconnect
All the best, happiest, and most creatively productive times in my life have something in common: being disconnected. When I was twenty-two, I quit my job and spent five months alone in a house on a remote part of the Oregon coast. Practicing, writing, recording, exercising, and learning. No internet. No TV. No phone. No people. I drove into the city only once a month to see friends and family. The rest of the time, I was completely disconnected. fifty songs, made huge improvements in my musi
Don’t add your two cents
“My two cents” is American slang for adding a small opinion or suggestion. The boss says, “Good job. Maybe just change the blue to gold, change the word ‘giant’ to ‘huge’, and get rid of the border. Other than that, it’s great!” But there’s a big downside: The employee no longer feels full ownership of their project. (Then you wonder why they’re not motivated!) The employee says, “I’ve been working for the past two weeks on this new design. What do you think?” This slight change made a h
Possible futures
I occasionally get a big vision for my future — a huge project that will take many months or years. Something exciting and very worth doing. Then a month later, I have a completely different vision. Something unrelated to the previous one. Something I’m more excited about. I used to feel bad about this. Like I should stop having new ideas for the future, and just stick with one. I used to feel bad for not acting on them. Now I can daydream all I want, not feeling bad that I’m not taking ac
Singing the counter-melody
My advice and opinions may sound strange on their own. musical counterpoint is? Underneath the main melody, you have a counter-melody that goes against it, and together they make harmony. This is different from harmonizing, where someone sings along with the melody at an interval. The counter-melody is a separate melody that could stand on its own, but is mainly there to complement the main melody. I know I’m not the only voice you hear. There’s a common message we all hear these days. Let’s
What to do when you get successful
(part of the “do this” directives) 1. Change yes to “Hell yeah!” or no. switch strategies. Now if you continue doing that, you’ll drown in all the opportunities. Hell yeah!” 2. Keep momentum. But like swinging on jungle vines, if you stop that forward motion you can never get it back.
Do this. Directives — part 1
First see “just tell me what to do” for context. But I decided to post this outline now, because so many people have asked for these since Tim’s show. How to be useful to others How to get rich How to thrive in an unknowable future How to like people What to do when you get successful How to stop being rich and happy Elvin Dantes made this great video: Cheryl B. Engelhardt wrote “Do This Instead”, which I love.
How to stop being rich and happy
(part of the “do this” directives) 1. Prioritize lifestyle design. Shape your surroundings to please your every desire. immediate gratification the most important thing. 2. Chase that comparison moment. Ignore the fact that the happiness only comes from the moment of comparison between the old and new. 3. Buy, not rent. It’s not about the thing, it’s about identity. This shows who you are now. 4. Internalize your new status. Admit you are in a different class of people now, with dif
How to like people
(part of the “do this” directives) 1. Assume it’s their last day. Instead, to appreciate someone, live like it’s their last day on earth. Really listen to them. Learn from them. 2. Be who you’d be when alone. You could live in solitude, pleasing only yourself. 3. Assume men and women are the same. Women think men are so different from them. among men and differences among women are far greater than the differences between men and women. counteract your tendency to exaggerate the di
How to get rich
(part of the “do this” directives) 1. Live where luck strikes. where the money is flowing, where your role models live. Be right in the middle of everything. 2. Say yes to everything. everyone. Nothing is too small. Do it all. Follow-up and keep in touch with everyone. 3. Learn the multiplying skills. Not pursued on their own, they’re skills that multiply the success of your main pursuit. (A chef with a mastery of psychology, persuasion, and design.) 4. Pursue market value no
How to thrive in an unknowable future
(part of the “do this” directives) 1. Prepare for the worst. But the best case scenario doesn’t need your preparation or your attention. Like insurance, don’t obsess on it. Just prepare, then carry on appreciating the good times. 2. Expect disaster. Fully expect that disaster to come to you at any time. Not just money, but health, family, freedom. Expect it all to disappear. 3. Own as little as possible. The less you own, the less you’re affected by disaster. 4. Choose opportunity
How to be useful to others
(part of the “do this” directives) 1. Get famous. The more people you reach, the more useful you are. 2. Get rich. So, by getting rich, you’re being useful as a side-effect. Then getting rich is double-useful. 3. Share strong opinions. very useful to others. But those who disagree can solidify their stance by arguing against yours. 4. Be expensive. People who paid more for tickets were more likely to attend the performance. value it more, and get more use out of it. Elvin Dant
Don’t start a business until people are asking you to
When you bake a cake, you need to do first things first. You need to get the ingredients before you turn on the oven. You need to bake it before you frost it and slice it. Most have an idea but no customers. For them I always say, “Don’t start a business until people are asking you to.” First you find real people whose problem you can solve. You listen deeply to find their dream scenario. You make sure they’re happy to pay you enough. announce anything. Don’t choose a name. Don’t make a web
Interviews at sive.rs/i
I’ve been the guest on 54 interview shows, most of them in the past year. sive.rs/i You might find them interesting because I put a lot of work into them, too. The host will email me some questions in advance and I’ll spend like six hours writing, thinking, writing, editing, and writing before we do the call and hit record. I try to go beyond the first answer that comes to mind, to get to the more surprising and useful answer. If you’d rather read, there’s a full transcription on each page.